6 Tracks to Rot Your Brain To

There comes a point, every few months, where I catch up on pop music. Where like, every single I've missed over the last four months hits me in a rush of about a week (and usually comes courtesy of my ride-or-die homegirl, Gillian), and I go on an all-sugar diet for a little while afterwards. Fuck any crumbling vestiges of cool I may still possess—this is my favourite kind of high calorie, no good for me, pop junk food (well, this and Ice Loves Coco).

Strap in, buddies, and let's have some fun.

This was a single way back in March, I think, but I only clued into it about a week ago. And hot damn, is it fun. It's so WEIRD. It's about sex with E.T., guys, not that you couldn't have guessed that—the lyrics possess nothing resembling subtlety. The production on this is pretty spectacular though, and the video, while cheesy and over-baked, has some really cool costuming. Gaga did the alien thing earlier this year too, but Katy looks like she's having about a million times more fun not making her career an undergrad thesis on pop culture.

This is such an embarrassing choice, but I truly can't get this out of my head. The video looks like a cross between that awkward Matrix rave/orgy and Street Fighter's Chun-Li, but this is a great song for keeping your pace up when working on something dull. Plus, how good is Kelly Rowland looking? Look at her nails! And she's definitely been doing Buns of Steel. Bey may get all the glory, but this lesser Destiny Child is smartly just making music that'll have her on endless loop in the gay clubs.

This song is such a sneak attack—the first time I heard it, I was like, "uhhh why should I care?" and then I found myself humming it in the shower, and as I did dishes, and on my way to work, and then I realized that it had worked. NERD had effectively hypnotized me, and I don't know why. This video makes me feel icky for a few reasons. 1) I can't buy Pharrell as sexy. Dude has the body of a 14 year old. 2) The harem of vacant women. They're his stripped down, sexed up version of Gwen Stefani's Harujuku Girls, and it weirds me out (I do find it hilarious and amazing how they bounce their chests though). Whatever, I'm not giving up my feminist card for loving this one.

This is as good as Blackout-era Britney, back when she was actually going to clubs and then went bathshit so she couldn't promote her album properly. This one, Femme Fatale, has some serious missteps, but this is a great roiling, steamy sort of pop song. Yeah, I can't believe I just said steamy either, ugh.

Easily the standout track on a pretty good album, Kanye and Jay-Z's collaboration, Watch the Throne. I love how dirty it sounds, and how ramped up—like the blurring lights of speeding through the city on a wet night. G made a great point about what a statement Jay's making on how success changes friendships, and I like how it feels like Jay's stepping down (although lord knows if he'll actually stay down). Kanye comes off as his guard dog, joining in only at the end to continue the message and show his loyalty. It's a good one...

But this one just hits my sweet spot on another level. Enjoy the next time you're rolling.

Any current earworms you just can't shake? Songs I should be listening to?

Hamtramck Disneyland

My last trip back to Detroit was probably the best, because in the name of our recently ended road trip we decided to check out some places that we had never been before. Hamtramck is a city within a city, a great little place with a population of under 25,000. It has its own mayor, police force, and everything, but to an outsider it's just like another one of Detroit's awesome little neighbourhoods. There is a high Polish population, and more recently a lot of people moving from the Middle East, especially Yemen and  Bangladesh, which makes for the best most delicious food choices you can imagine. We were told about Hamtramck Disneyland as almost an urban myth, a lot of people have heard about it and just never been there, and it's not easily locatable in the backyard of a normal looking house on a residential street.

This is the only kind of hint that something behind the house will be different from all the others.

Once you go down the alleyway to behind the house, though, the scene changes and you are inside the dreamworld of Dmytro Szylak, a retired GM worker who, legend has it, started all this as a hobby after he stopped working full time. He has decorated, with all kinds of repurposed objects, two small garages that sit behind his house. The tree beside the garage has become worked into the display, and the whole explosion of colour and fun takes place in the space of a small backyard.

You can walk amongst the windmills and airplanes, which are right outside the back window of his house.

It's easy for me to start appreciating this as artwork, recognizing the discarded, pop iconography as found, reworked, and made into something totally different and wonderful. It automatically reminded me of my friends Felix and Sasha's shrines around Toronto this past summer (which you can read more about here), but on a larger scale with brighter colours. But unlike places like the Heidelberg Project, another amazing outdoor art project, Disneyland does not stand for something larger and more important than it is. 

The best views of Disneyland are from the back alley.

Despite its loud colours, moving parts, and nightly traditional Ukranian folk music, Disneyland  is subdued. It's less art and more hobby, and it's totally unpretentious, which is why I think the name fits so well ("the happiest place on earth!"). Art for the sake of doing something you love makes me all gooey inside, and I'm glad this place is getting the right kind of attention.

And this little guy that I saw outside was just the cherry on the cake of a wonderful trip to Hamtramck. Go there when you get the chance and eat as many meals as you can. Also, go to the HoardHouse, my new favourite shop. 

Of Film Fests and Funny Folk

My favourite guy, Daniel Warth, got into his first film festival.

I KNOW, right? Very exciting and totally deserved. His film, It Won't Be Long, is part of the National Screen Institute's Short Film Festival. Best of all, it's a digital festival, so it's available to watch anywhere in the world.

It Won't Be Long is about a shy man who falls for his barber. It only clocks in at just under 10 minutes, but it feels like the kind of romantic-comedy sorely lacking in mainstream film these days—understated, bittersweet, with genuinely likable characters. AND it stars the very first film debut of my hands! (Yes, those ARE my paws squirting shampoo. Sorry to ruin the illusion for you).

So pretend you're eating popcorn, and I hope you enjoy!

It Won't Be Long from Daniel Warth on Vimeo.

In addition to that, Daniel is trying to find funding for his next film, a romantic-comedy about burglars called, for now, Petty Thieves. Along with one of the cowriters, Aaron Feldman (it's also being written with Madeleine Cohen), they've made this very funny little video to ask for donations. I stifled my laughter really awkwardly watching this at work, so if you like laughter and have a spare four minutes, you should definitely give it a watch.

"Petty Thieves" IndieGoGo Promo from Daniel Warth on Vimeo.

Please spread the word, and help support these very funny and talented people!

Topshop's New(ish) Foray

Well, ladies, Topshop is finally here. I know that technically it's been here for about a year, at Ossington's Jonathan + Olivia, but for some reason I was always underwhelmed by their selection and layout. After all the big hype from the night before, I decided to check out the new Topshop section at The Bay yesterday, and much to my surprise, I was not disappointed.

 a few iPhone snaps

Though it's nothing like true Topshop stores, there was actually quite a bit to pick through, even after Wednesday night's opening. The shoes were very cute, and several leather bags caught my eye, though they were all too small for my day-to-day needs. There were very few people looking around except for me and 4 Japanese girls armed with expensive looking cameras, taking pictures of each other holding up different tops or dresses. The staff seemed stressed out, though, perhaps in the aftermath of the fashionista brand swarming. The worst part is that the long, gauzy, perfect-mustard-coloured skirt wasn't left in size 10, and that now I'm totally SOL.

Topshop is already in 37 countries world wide and over the next 5 years will likely have stand-alone stores. With J. Crew landing soon, all we'll need are ASOS and Uniqlo, and outrageous duty fees will no longer be an issue. 

What are other stores that you would love to see in Toronto?

Dog Days of Summer

I'm about to embark on this crazy thing: On Saturday, I'm adopting a dog.

This is a big step for me, and something I've wanted to do for a very long time. A VERY long time. I've wanted a dog for as long as I can remember, a childhood dream that hasn't been realized because my family's situation never allowed for it. But now I'm finally at the stage in my life where I feel capable of fulfilling the responsibilities that come with this decision, and it's one I want to make.

He's a rescue dog, a young schnauzer mix named Charlie, a stray from the streets of Mexico. He was found with a badly fractured leg, and was taken in and mended by a Mexican family before joining Loyal Rescue here in Ontario. He sounds like a charming little guy—his foster mom tells me he is sweet and calm, and loves nothing more than being with his people.

He'll need some training—he hasn't been trained on a leash and, living in the city without a backyard, that's definitely something he'll have to get used to. And of course, there are manners to learn in human society, such as greeting people politely, understanding that humans make the decisions, and not begging for food (my biggest pet peeve). The idealist in me hopes he'll be perfect from the outset, but the realist in me has been fervently brushing up on dog training, so we can get started on the best foot.

Isn't he the cutest?*

The part that excites me the most about welcoming this new companion into my life, this joyous little creature, is not only teaching him, but learning from him. Learning about intuition and body language and loyalty in ways that I've only brushed the tip of the iceberg in knowing. I'm excited about establishing better routines, and exercising more regularly, and giving myself more time at home—such a wonderful, elusive thing when left to my own devices. I feel like this dog will help me prioritize the things in life that I need and want to work on, and help me feel more grounded, less selfish, more in tune with the world around me. I think dogs make people better people, and I'm excited by the change that I'll see in me too.

I have worries too. I worry about it adding stress to a great home situation. I worry that he won't be happy, and that it'll be evident, that he'll be destructive and rude. I worry I won't have a social life. I worry the timing isn't right, and that my life is still too malleable. I worry I won't be able to live up to responsibilities I'm signing up for, but I feel deeply like I am, and I've learned to trust my gut. I've thought about this for so long and hard, and I feel like this dog is the right one for me. I feel like he's a good one to tie my fate to for the next 10–15 years. I feel like he's a good soul that I want in my life. I feel like his needs are a priority to me, and that adopting a rescue dog helps more dogs in the future. I've already started feeling a thrill of excitement when I head home, a thrill at being greeted by a wagging ball of hair.

So we'll see. It's been a hard decision, and one I've laboured over, but one I'm really excited to make. Is this what it feels like to be an adult, staring down the barrel of a life-changing choice?

*I promise, I won't just fill the blog with photos of him in goofy costumes, but I make no promises about the future state of my twitter feed. OMG, I just realized about all the dog sweaters I can knit!

Got any advice for me, dog-owning friends?

A Reason to Celebrate

I have a reason to celebrate today, because I just got a fabulous internship at the website of an incredible Toronto-based magazine! I am still too jittery and nervous/excited to write anything worth reading, so today I will leave you with four videos of hot ladies that I can't stop watching. Enjoy!