I won't even pretend to think that all teen girls are as intelligent, enlightened, and seemingly confident as Tavi Gevinson, but I think we can all learn a lot from this little bite-sized tot. Rookie Mag launched earlier this week, and it you haven't already you need to check it out now.
One article in particular that's been posted, written by Tavi herself, really struck me. It's called "Getting Over Girl Hate," and it deals with an issue that I am incredibly guilty of. By the way, if we are friends, even acquaintances, and you are a female, I have been jealous of you at some point.
This is something that seems to come naturally to me, and as the article argues, to society in general: when I see or meet a cool, pretty, stylish, smart girl my first reaction is "I hate her." My close-second reaction, however, at least in more recent years, has been "I want to be her friend." It's a pretty real struggle, because I have met a lot of really incredible girls in the last few years, and kept friendships with others for many years. I, at some point, realized that these feelings came from a place of insecurity and not any real animosity. It's nice to be able to take a step back and use my energy not to hate on these girls, but to join them in their awesomeness. Having friendships with other women is one of the most liberating and inspiring parts of my life; you can learn from each other, teach each other, work together, and generally be better because of each other.
It'll do you all good to read the article here. This is a multi-generational lesson that will benefit every woman, no matter her age.
So thanks, Tavi, for reminding me that you kids are alright. I am proud of you for being so ahead of the game, and embracing the importance of female relationships.
all images are screengrabs from rookiemag.com
One article in particular that's been posted, written by Tavi herself, really struck me. It's called "Getting Over Girl Hate," and it deals with an issue that I am incredibly guilty of. By the way, if we are friends, even acquaintances, and you are a female, I have been jealous of you at some point.
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| This is a diagram she drew, explaining how women are taught to hate each other. A bit of an exaggeration, but comical to say the least. |
This is something that seems to come naturally to me, and as the article argues, to society in general: when I see or meet a cool, pretty, stylish, smart girl my first reaction is "I hate her." My close-second reaction, however, at least in more recent years, has been "I want to be her friend." It's a pretty real struggle, because I have met a lot of really incredible girls in the last few years, and kept friendships with others for many years. I, at some point, realized that these feelings came from a place of insecurity and not any real animosity. It's nice to be able to take a step back and use my energy not to hate on these girls, but to join them in their awesomeness. Having friendships with other women is one of the most liberating and inspiring parts of my life; you can learn from each other, teach each other, work together, and generally be better because of each other.
It'll do you all good to read the article here. This is a multi-generational lesson that will benefit every woman, no matter her age.
So thanks, Tavi, for reminding me that you kids are alright. I am proud of you for being so ahead of the game, and embracing the importance of female relationships.
all images are screengrabs from rookiemag.com
This post is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI realized a little while ago that 'complimenting' someone by saying you're jealous of them (or envious, or the dreaded "omg I hate you") does more to harm relationships than help, because you're letting a destructive emotion define your reaction. I've found I feel better and am more genuinely happy for my friends if I don't react with negative language, and I feel happier when I have good news and my friends sound happy for me too. You can be jealous, but don't indulge it – starving it is the best way to get rid of feeling that way.
It's something I'm so sensitive to now, and I notice people do it all the time. Saying you're jealous is not a compliment.
Thanks for being so honest, Laura! Love you, girl!
Also, I have so much respect for Tavi. To have such a strong sense of self at such a young age, and to encourage positivity and creativity from those around her is such a gift for anyone listening. She would be an easy person to be jealous of, but I think she's worked really hard to get where she's at, and more than anything, I'm grateful that I feel encouraged to step up my game. I wish nothing but success for her and for RookieMag!
ReplyDeleteTerrific post! A couple of years ago, I realized that I had very few female friends and that it was no one's fault but my own. I decided to look to the girls I felt intimidated by, and of course realized that they were awesome (duh, that'd be why I was intimidated by them.) Cue some platonic courting and the assembly of an all-girls' book-und-craft club, and I now spend more time surrounded by amazing women than I could've hoped for.
ReplyDeleteAnd Tavi is such a badass-- I'm blown away by her attitude, her drive, her work ethic, and (of course) her talent.