Dear End of June

Get here sooner. Look, I know it's only the 13th and we still have to tango for another 17.5 days, but I have shit to do, and the sooner June is done, the sooner it can start happening.

What kinds of things, you ask? Well, for one, my boyfriend is moving in with me. It's something I'm really excited about, but also something that makes me tired when I think about it too much. I'm tired of everyone warning me how "things will change" and worrying about how they actually will change, and I'm tired of feeling exhausted by the prospect of reorganizing all our stuff, but most of all, I'm tired of packing a fucking bag every night. You wouldn't know anything about that, June, because you show up, you set up shop for the most temperate month of the year, and then you hibernate for another 11 months. Having your life be in two separate places simultaneously blows, and I've spent too many hours over a year and a half making it work.

Two, I'd really like to start this thing called a routine. This goes hand in hand with the whole two homes lifestyle I've been living over the past year. I'd like to start waking up in the same place at the same time everyday, and having fresh groceries in the house, and doing those exercises my physiotherapist showed me but I always forget to do. I'd like to become an adult, please, and I feel like a regular schedule is the key to adulthood. My wallet will be fatter, my body will be thinner, and my teeth will be way healthier from all the flossing I'm going to unleash. Who knows, maybe by mid-August I'll realize that isn't true and being an adult is all about your mindset or actually sticking to a budget, but whatever, that's August's problem.

Three, I'd like to get a dog. This isn't going to happen until I'm closer to mastering Two, and that isn't going to happen until I get more practice. So fucking chop to it, for Future Fido's sake.

Four, I'd really like to start implementing all of the way cool decorating ideas I have. I feel like I've fine-tuned my current bedroom to near perfection, and although I'm going to miss it after you're through, June, I need a new challenge. I need to mess some shit up and spend a few days sanding and painting walls, hanging pictures and buying houseplants, arranging bookshelves and conferring over what sofa placement best suits the living room's flow. I basically want to live in a cocoon for all of July and emerge with a beautiful butterfly of a house. It's going to be so rad, June, and although it makes me sad you won't get to see it until next year, you just need to back the fuck away so it can happen.

So while I love my currently living situation and I'm looking forward to enjoying my friends' birthdays and other plans, you have the sad fact of being the home stretch, June, so I don't get to appreciate our time together. This month, for me, is characterized by impatience and excitement and anxiety. The sooner I start living my future, the sooner those things won't be such pressing issues and I can start working on actual issues, like what I'm going to be when I grow up and how to find time to better myself and my relationships with those I love. I feel my attention is divided and I need this looming change to be through so I can focus and WORK. So enough, June. Kindly fuck off and let's get July in to clean house.

Love you, hope the rest of the month's great, and I'll see you next year!

xoxo
Amanda